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Not after the previous night. There was no car for me; no Ean. I began my walk home. I estimated it to take me about twenty minutes. A lot of time to think. I was excited now that the school day was over. Still a bit nervous for some reason, but very excited. I also had a new friend maybe. I liked her the more I thought about her. Ean liked her older sister for a reason, it was natural that I would like her, I thought. It didn’t really make sense but something about her made me want to really hope that we actually became friends. Twenty minutes can pass by very quickly when lost in thought. I walked into my house and dropped my book bag in the living room. The house was quiet. I was just brave enough after such a good day to face Ean. I had to do it then before I could think and reason it out. My bravery would die soon. Ean’s bedroom door was shut. I knocked, waited, and then slowly pried it open. Ean was face down on his bed. “Ean,” I called in a soft voice. He was. Barbara and I shared a few quiet moments after the doctor left, and we basically said to each other that we did not care what may be different or special about our son we were just going to love him just as we did his sisters. There was not even any significant thought given to any other course of action or different viewpoints from either of us. As far as we were concerned, God sent this little boy to us, and we were his parents, period. (We found out much later that this is not the way some people react in these kinds of situations, thoughts which deeply saddened us when we learned of the far too frequent and heartrending reality of those situations.) In the next 24-48 hours as Barbara was released from the hospital, and I informed my boss about Ryan’s condition, I was given one of the greatest blessings I could have ever received. My boss told me to go and be with my family and our son for as long as was needed, but to keep him informed, and that my job would be there when I came.
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