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Duh! Stupid, I know, but I figured it was only going to take a few seconds and the teacher was out of the room. I kept botching it and it took more like five minutes. My welding class was at eight in the morning and by ten my eyes were on fire and hurt so badly I couldn't drive home. That's why they had to call my mom.The doctor took one look and said, "No TV for you for a while Eric. I hope you've got a good music collection on your I-pod because your eyes are going to be in bandages for a few days." He put some anesthetic drops into each eye followed by some stuff to reduce the inflammation and covered them with gauze pads and bandages. Then he gave Mom a prescription for some pain pills and eye drops to pick up at the drug store on the way home. The first degree burn on my face was no worse than a bad sunburn.She'd already given my car keys to my younger sister, Karen. She was only fifteen but she'd been driving since she was twelve, not unusual on a farm. Karen was all giggles,. My family wouldn't abide by my disassociation with the church, especially my mother.The next day a neurologist agreed with the nursing staff that I had severe pirapism. His Hindu accent was difficult to understand. He said, "Yes, Jimmy, the medications increasing your blood flow doesn't help matters, but I don't want to tamper with my regiment. It may go down of its own accord, eventually. Normally, I could give the penis a shot to alleviate it, but I am greatly concerned it may cause more nerve damage and have other unexpected side effects with your rare neurological problems. That, and it is one of the few places you have sensation."What made it even more awkward is that I do have a freakish-large penis, and I don't mean just a large penis. I mean freakish, in reference to what others think of me after they see it. To put things in perspective, my x-wife ingratiatingly referred to me as her, "gargantuan eleven incher." Strange as it may sound, this wasn't the first time I wished I.
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