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Today was Johnny’s 18 th birthday. He was especially excited because this meant that he could suddenly have sexual desires for the first time and maybe even have sexual intercourse. Or at least, that’s what he read on the internet. “Are you coming downstairs, bro?” he heard a voice outside the door ask. It was his older sister, Mary. Mary was 20, but still lived at home for some contrived reason. Johnny slowly walked downstairs and joined the rest of his family as they sat around to eat waffles. Wait, no, actually they were eating bananas, because those were more sexually suggestive even if it doesn’t make sense to eat bananas and nothing else for breakfast. Or better yet, Mary and his mother were eating bananas suggestively while Johnny and his father ate waffles or pancakes or some other normal food. Yes, that was it. “Hello, brother,” his sister Mary said to him as he came down, “I’m so glad you could join us.” Johnny watched Mary eat a banana in a suggestive way that reminded him. I sighed. Her leaving took a lot of the fun out of things. "Sowhat's your hell date?" Kim asked Amanda.***20:25 21 Feb I guessed that Amanda had done very well in bio, since the way shewas dissecting Boyfriend Number Last in effigy showed a lot of practiceand care. Boy, that would hurt, though. Especially when she pulled the skingently off and salted what was underneath. Which, in this case happenedto be another potato, but even so, it made me afraid.***20:27 21 Feb "I think it has something to do with their underwear," Ipostulated. They all stared at me. Nobody said anything. Finally, Kathy, being the bravest, asked, "What?" "Well, see," I couldn't look at them any more or I'd crack up, so Istared at my salad plate. "You take away their underwear, and they getreal docile alluva sudden. No more macho!" There was about threeseconds of dead, stunned, silence, and then Kathy whooped, which seteveryone else off. Even Amanda.***20:31 21 Feb "I don't.
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