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”“Yes, unless you want to immerse yourself deeply in religion, and I don’t think that’s for you. And honestly, does a ‘happy eschaton’ really make up for all the bad stuff in the world?”“Now you sound like Abbie.”“I told you I think she’s good for you. She’s accepted that there is no explanation.”“Yes, but I can’t go for existentialism or nihilism.”“So don’t. Find your way through life and find a way to be happy and satisfied even when there are no explanations.”“I’ll try,” I said.Elyse smiled, “I’m half tempted to quote Yoda, but I don’t agree with him. All we can ever do is try. But, one thing I can be sure of is that something bad WILL happen in the future. And it will have no explanation. Probably several somethings. And if you keep weighing yourself down with a frustrating search for meaning, you’ll destroy yourself and everyone around you.”I sighed, “I said I would try.”“Yes, you did. Now, tell me more about Chris Gibson.”“Smart, seems to know her stuff, is able to program, and. Orderly and Madison must have known that we were behaving the waygenetic males often behave in prisons, but if so, they said and didnothing about it. After all, being fucked was a way to make us feelless manly, and we couldn't get pregnant.Toward the end of my third month, my emotions started getting thebetter of me. I was desperate for a change, desperate to do anythingexcept sewing lace on panties. My body was turning female. My breastswere growing. I had crying jags. I was having trouble getting it upfor Tina, and had to resort to blowjobs instead.The only silver lining was that I could stop wearing a wig. My hairwas just long enough to style now, and Miss Madison made me anappointment with Jennifer, the girl who was best among us athairdressing. She trimmed it lightly, brushed it back into pigtailsand decorated them with bows. My pigtails weren't very impressive, butthey were a lot cooler and more comfortable than the wig.Just after I got my hair done, there was another break in.
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