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As soon as Mark left, I would carefully measure and grind the beans, and once the coffee began dripping into the pot, I would go upstairs. Elaine would be outside, playing with one of her friends on the swing set that Mark had built when she was first born. I would sit in my daughter's room, in that undersized rocking chair next to the window. And I would look down, through his kitchen window, and watch him knead the first batch of dough.From that vantage all I could see was his hands, strong hands with a sensitive touch that had sent chills up my arm the first time we had met. His fingers would lift the edges of the dough, folding it over once and then again, and then the heels of his palms would push it into the floured wooden board. It was never hot enough for long enough to indulge in air-conditioning in this part of upstate New York, but there were Saturday mornings when it warmed quickly. He would knead for fifteen minutes, far longer than I had thought necessary, and at times. A night that would chip away at the walls that Blake had up, a night that would let him see that they had a future. She had put the wine in the refrigerator as soon as she got home from shopping. She put in one of their favorite CD’s. Thinking of all of the nights they had shared in the previous months. The endless conversations till dawn, the nights spent listening to music, talking, dancing in the living room till 4am. The endless nights of passion that had always followed. The lazy Sundays in bed she had come to enjoy in his arms. A smile came to her lips. She thought about the night they finally had agreed to meet. They had been talking on the computer for months but had never agreed till Labor Day to meet. She thought of how she knew from the moment they started talking how it could be between them. The ease of the conversations they held, the way she felt safe to open up to this man. The endless hours they spent on the phone, till the sun nearly came up, were still never enough.
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