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" Followed by a male voice in the distance, shouting, "Great Scott!" "Is that why you left, because she paddled you?" I asked amid the cacophony.Surprisingly, with adulation, she answered, "Fuck no! She was a Michaelangelo with the paddle!" Michaelangelo?" I repeated incredulously."Or Raphael..or Donatello...one of them mutant turtles." Regardless, she wants you back." Angrily, she turned, her mop flinging dirty, soapy water from my head to toe, causing me to slip to the floor, writhing in the filth, screaming, "She slimed me!"Then, on a pop culture roll, stumbling to my feet, I surveyed the watery mess splashing through the hallway like a white trash wave pool and declared, "This was NO boating accident!"Slip sliding my way to Eleanor, I continued, "I know you two lovebirds can work out any differences."Her horrifying response; "But the BITCH made me binge watch Adam Sandler movies!" Oh, fuck no, honey! Run while you can. I'll tell her you died in a ...well...boating accident." . 3. Even the best utility belt will make you look fat.4. No white supersuits after Labor Day.5. When in doubt—bulletproof it.I’d been up since five and by eleven, I could hardly keep my eyes open. We had keys to our own room and as soon as we were inside, Desi closed and locked the door between the two rooms almost at the same instant that her Dad pushed the door closed from his side.I flopped back on a bed and was nearly asleep while still wearing my costume and wig.“Baby, get out of those clothes and brush your teeth before bed,” Desi said, leaning over me. She kissed me and I reached for her, encountering one very bare breast. I sat up and started pulling my clothes off. She hung the costume pieces back in our closet and I headed for the bathroom in just my boxers. Desi joined me when I brushed my teeth, standing next to me in front of the mirror. It took her about thirty seconds to get her makeup off with a special cleanser cloth she used and then she led me to the bed. We pulled.
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