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" So they don't meet alone?" "No, never, we're too close to keep secrets from each other." I wondered about that, but it was true they all were extraordinarily close, maybe that was their problem. My mind boggled, searching for a way to help, "Have any of you tried online dating?" We did and got a lot of attention from locals. Most of them were low brows, too thick, some looked ugly, others just weird and a lot the wrong star sign. " "Wrong star sign! Are you joking?" We may be desperate, but we still have standards." "You'll have to lower them if you want to get laid." We did, and it was a disaster, Anne-Marie, and I decide to visit 'old man Jacob' who messaged us."Old man Jacob! You can do better than that." He was safe, and we could trust him. You don't know how scary it can be." She pleaded."So, what went wrong?" "We went to his house, and he was so pleased to see us. He invited us in and then gave us a drink. Eventually, he said, "Let's get started then."He asked Anne-Marie and. “Holy fuck!” Eric says under his breathEric ducks back out of the room, closing the door gently, and retrieves his cell fone from his pocket. He dials Jim on the phone and says, in hushed tones,Eric: “Jim you gotta get over here. Shelly’s passed out and her feet are ours for the taking! Call me as soon as you get this message!”At this point, Jim rounds the corner…Jim: “Here I am!”Eric: “Shhhh… let’s sneak in! I think she’s passed out drunk but we’ll have to make sure”Jim: “I sure hope so; my pipes are clogged it’s been so long!”Eric repeats the opening of the door; the scene remains unchanged. Shelly still on the bed, legs still hanging over the edge, shoes still on.Eric (to no one in particular) “Shelly? Shelly!”There is no response. She’s out like a light. Tim: “Those are some hot fucking shoes!”Tim’s eyes are riveted to the Jessica Simpson pumps on her feet – one is almost to the point of dangling, the arch of the shoe separated from her foot by an inch or more. Tim is crazy to get.
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