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Let's also say he was an only childwhose mother died giving birth to him, that hecame from a long line of Boston cops, and thathis father was a martinet who wanted nothing morethan for his only son to follow in their family'slong tradition. Let's further suppose that the sonwas a sensitive boy who'd known from an early agehe should have been born a girl, but who knewequally well that this was something he didn'tever dare tell his father.Let's assume that at some point the father findsout about his son's...proclivities. Being the sortof man he was, a huge row would have ensued and hewould've trashed the women's clothes he'd foundhidden in his son's room, forbidding him ever tohave anything to do with such stuff again. The son,of course, would continue to dress in secret as healways had. A few years later, when the son wastwenty-one, the father dies. On his deathbed, hemakes the son swear to put all his dreams ofwomanhood behind him and to become a cop. It's aterrible thing to ask, but. On the way to her job, she asked me if I remembered that I was to take it in once I dropped her off. I didn’t remember and we talked a bit then I found the memory of her telling me.I was so sad. There’s nothing like failing the people you love on a continual basis for your self esteem. Then my mind went to “This is really happening to me. I’m going away.” So I threw myself a pity party then I remember she had given me GRAPES! When I got home I could eat them. A small burst of joy went through me followed by FUCK! I’m living a Ralphie May comedy routine.Ralphie May had a routine where he talked about how happy retarded people were because they are pleased by simple things. While non-retarded people were unhappy because nothing ever pleased them.He asked, “Do you know how to make a retarded person happy? A Scooby-Doo lunch box and if they find a thermos of chocolate milk in it the motherfucker hit the lottery. While we couldn’t be happy because our Lexus wasn’t quite as new as our.
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