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I couldn’t believe how good we got on, the first month of my freshman year I meet the perfect guy and we’re best friends a few months later. The whole kid thing never really interfered with my infatuation, that is, until I actually met his baby and her mother–who happened to be his girlfriend of years and years. Then they sort of broke up, then me and him sort of dated, and finally kissed for real and he decided we shouldn’t, but then he’d kiss me a week later in my room. Moving in with him was sort of big, but he didn’t think of it like I did. I thought I was moving in with the love of my life, he was just moving in with his college friend. ‘You kiss nice, I miss your kiss.’ We made out for a while on the table. He unbuckled my belt. ‘The table is uncomfortable. You wanna order the food and go in the living room?’ He nodded, I buckled back up and went to the bathroom while he got the phone book out. I wanted to delay what I hoped would be inevitable, so we could talk and just kiss. (Sits back again) My last girlfriend and I dated for a year and a half. Before that, I dated a girl twice for six months each time. Yet while the mind is intrigued, (Stands, takes off glasses and proceeds to clean them on his shirt) the body hungers. (Shrugs, puts glasses back on) And so I eventually move on, (paces) and I’m left having to choose between being satiated and empty, or intrigued and anxious. (Pauses, parroting self) For while ‘I have met many women who could satisfy me physically’, and ‘few who could satisfy me emotionally’, (sits) I have yet to find a single one capable of both. (Eyes fall to floor) Except… (Chokes off in a sob, covers face in hands) Oh gods. (Violently stands up and turns his back to audience, unseen he pulls a bottle of eye drops from his breast pocket, administers it to his cheeks, and returns it to the pocket, then turns back to audience, apparently crying) I take it back, there was one. One wonderful girl full of self-damnation. (Rests hand on.
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