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She was thrown off by the reference to the injury and off balance about the question of how he masturbated. “Can . . can't you . . uh . . use the . . other hand?”“Lance spoke angrily now, “Maybe girls can frig themselves ambidextrously, but it just doesn't feel the same to me, to pull-my-putz with the lefty! It's like a stranger doing to me. It's not the same. All my life I did it with the right, and now I can't get off that way by hand. I don't have a girlfriend to mess around with, since Cindy moved. What should I do, mom? Go out to a bar, take my chances on some babe I pick up and risk venereal disease? Or perhaps you know of a clean hooker I could afford to hire?Stung by his vehemence and flummoxed by the very private revelation of his personal sexual dilemma, she reacted defensively. “You're twenty years old and a handsome hunk, you mean you can't find a girl at your college who will give you a tumble, or look at Internet porn and pop your cock's cork that way?”Now. For years Matt had simply watched as his wife made love to herself. Shehad a very active sex life, he just wasn't a part of it. Nobody wasexcept her.A few people glanced over at the masturbating woman, but no one seemedto think it was terribly unusual. People do masturbate after all, shejust happened to be doing it in public right now. Most people justcarried on with whatever they were doing and right now most were waitingpatiently for the cake cutting. It wasn't every day you got to eat aThurman's cake after all.Once most of the plates had been cleared the bride and groom went overto the side table to go through the cutting of the cake ritual. Thebride thankfully did not have cake smashed into her face. As the coupleposed for pictures their photographer had to pause several times toadjust the donkey tail that had sprouted from her backside. She hadalways had a donkey tail, but she had never really liked getting customclothes to accommodate it. Tonight for example she had simply put.
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