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First, women clearly wanted the perfect sexual experience I could provide: no mess, no danger, just the simple profound pleasure their bodies craved but that their rational minds would not allow them to experience with a real person. The repressed passion of that hidden nature occasionally surprised me. I was visiting our local mall and in a crappy mood. It had been a red-letter bad day at work and I was feeling the need to take out my frustration on someone. I found the perfect subject in the food court. College-age, wearing a teal top, white denim mini and silver strapped sandals, this strawberry-blonde had a cherub-like face of pure innocence. She seemed oblivious to the young man ogling her from the next table. I sat down at a small table with a clear view of her primly crossed legs. My initial idea was rather cruel: Initiate a fantasy that would make her uncomfortable. So, with a nasty inner smile, I imagined unbuttoning the top two buttons on her shirt, and pushed the material. He claimed to be 19, just the sort of age I liked, and he claimed to like older men, men like me. After chatting about 3 times a week, for a month or so I decided to take a chance and risk another failure. We decided on a date and a time. Selected a place which would permit us to meet without too much chance of any known person seeing us and asking awkward questions. In today’s much more open and tolerant society I still look back in wonder at the amount of secrecy and care we had to take to remain undiscovered. The lengths we had to go just to express our inner desires and needs. Although there was a lot going on behind locked doors and in the dark corners of our lives, most guys had a much more sharing and giving attitude then is found in today’s gay world. If you knew someone was into man to man sex there would be little hesitation to introduce him to others you knew and visa -a- versa, with never a breath of these matters ever reaching the ears of parents or even siblings. I.
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