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"I pick up the phone, call the front desk and ask them to come up and get my bags. I hang up and call my favorite taxi driver, tell him it's an emergency and ask him to pick me up at the hotel.Bernie comes over to me, tries to hug me but I push him away and threaten, "Bernie, do not ever touch me again or I will have you arrested for assault."Bernie starts to justify his actions but thank God the front desk person and the taxi driver show up before he can get up a full head of steam. The taxi driver asks, "Ma'am, you need a taxi?"I smile and say, "Yes I certainly do. I need you to take me back to the Blaine cabin."He asks an expected question, "And your husband to be?"I emphatically declare, "He's sure as hell not coming with me!"I point to my luggage and ask, "Do you mind taking this downstairs for me?"The front desk worker asks another expected question, "Ms. Morgan, do you still wish to purchase the 'wedding' dress?"I think for a moment, come up with an evil idea and answer, "I. There are all kinds of vodka. There's the normal stuff, like Absolute and Grey Goose. And then there's the really hard stuff, the high proof stuff. A Cosmo made with that jet fuel is like 2 normal martinis. The bartender is my friend, so he always does a switcheroo when I'm on the hunt. I figured she'd had the equivalent of 5 martinis in under 30 minutes. That'd get to anyone, especially someone as petite as this MILF. I slid closer to her. "Do you want to know what I think? I think your husband's an idiot. If I had a wife as good looking as you, I wouldn't let her out of my sight."She looked searchingly into my eyes, trying to detect any insincerity. I knew she was vulnerable. I gave her my best movie star smile. "I'm not k**ding. You're a knock out." Stop," she said embarrassed. "I'm practically old enough to be your mother."I shifted my smile from charismatic to reassuring. "No way. Anyway, if you were, I'd call my congressman to make i****t legal." God you're so bad!" she said.
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