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Critic. Oh, wicked Mr. Critic!Every time Tammy posted a new story, sure enough Mr. Critic would criticize it."Your spelling is atrocious," Mr. Critic would write, in his oh-so-proper way, "and you seem to have no grasp of conventional grammar, without the saving grace of true experiment. The plot is miniscule, the characters the thinnest cardboard, and the ending completely implausible. You can do better."Tammy felt just awful whenever he saw what Mr. Critic had written about his stories. Didn't Mr. Critic realize that having fun was more important than any silly old rules? Fortunately, Tammy's friends agreed, and sent him notes like "Yoo rool, Tamee! Thet waz a grate storee!" That always cheered him right up again.But this couldn't go on forever, and one day Tammy Fey received a package in the mail, the snail mail, that is, with no return address.Inside was an old-fashioned brass oil lamp, with the alchemical symbols for Mars and Venus inscribed on its side. Knowing what this must. I sat in the back of the class where no one would see me. If I had been noticed, no one was mentioning it. The teacher began calling attendance. I became more and more tense as he approached my name. ‘Marcus Clive?’ he asked, doubtingly. ‘Here.’ As one wave, everyone turned to me. ‘Ah, I had heard that you had suffered a seizure on Monday, are you all right now?’ ‘Yeah, I’m fine. I found out that I have a new form of cancer, but I’m fine.’ Everyone gasped and began muttering amongst each other. The teacher was silent for almost a minute. ‘Please, continue,’ I said dryly as I took a pill. I walked down the crowded halls with everyone staring at me. Every few seconds, someone would ask me a question about the disease in my brain or tell me all that lame bullshit about how I could talk to them at any time. I reached for my pills the second enough time had passed since my last one. Just as I put my hand on the cap, the sensation of being stabbed in the back of the skull with a nail bat.
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