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Johnny breathed a sigh of relief, if only because it was neither a weapon or genitals, & immediately began to worry about this new unknown."This is for you," the man declared, ceremoniously plunking the heavy metal totem on the counter. Johnny blinked, looking over the stranger's treasure."Sorry man, we don't do returns," Johnny cautiously replied. "You get it, right? Most of our merchandise doesn't do so great on the secondhand market."Johnny winced at not-so-fond memories of customers trying to refund a toy after a weekend of pleasure. Whatever the hell this metal thing was, at least it did not seem like something that had been in the stranger's butt. It looked like some kind of... gravy boat? No, an oil lamp, like something you'd see on an antiques show. Maybe it was some kind of a fancy bong, Johnny could never fully comprehend the more complicated paraphernalia in the store."No returns. This is for you. For you!" He emphasized the final word with a dramatic flourish, pointing. It was a problem that I had no experience solving and I needed some advice. The problem was, I couldn't think of who would be qualified to give me advice. Certainly not Tom. You could count the number of women he dated on one hand and I couldn't be sure he wasn't a virgin when he got married. Probably not, but I couldn't be sure.The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the most likely source of good advice would be another woman. Now Tom's wife, Jenny, might be a possibility. She certainly brought him out of his shell and I got the impression she was a bit of a hidden hottie. You wouldn't know it to meet her, but sometimes ... well ... you never can tell. So with that in mind, I thought I would approach Jenny about my problem with Dana.It seemed like a good idea at the time. Jenny would give me some tips on how to get through to Dana and I'd be grateful. Simple, right? Well, maybe not. Jenny, as it turns out, wasn't thrilled with the idea and wasn't sure she could help.
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