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" Exactly!" she said. "Didn't you go to school, you silly thing?" Yes, but--" My favorite elementary teacher always had half-birthdays for the boysand girls who were born in the summer. This is your half-birthday!"She said the last sentence louder than the others, and looked up over myhead.I turned to see what she was looking at.A cute barmaid wearing one of those mini-dress uniforms with a blacktee-top and a pleated, wine-colored skirt was almost to our table withour tall, frosty drinks balanced expertly on her tray. She stopped atthe side and picked up the martini and put it in front of me. I couldsee the tiny chips of ice floating above the olives. The barmaid pickedup the luscious pink cosmo to put it in front of Donna.Donna said, "Oh no, the cosmopolitan is for the birthday girl!"The barmaid adopted a confused expression and looked from Donna to meand back again, still holding the cosmo, not spilling a single drop.She was a pro. "Pardon me, ma'am?" The pink one," Donna. One told the other “I had sex with a 30-year-old three times last night!”“Wow” his friend said “you must be using that Viagra.”“Nope” the man replied “I know a secret: wheat bread. Eat lots of it and you can make love for hours. The second man dashed off to the nearest grocery store and bought eight loaves of wheat bread. At the checkout counter the cashier said “That’s a lot of bread. It will probably get hard before you’re done eating it all.”“Well, I’ll be damned” the man said. “Does everybody know about this but me?”Three bushies were sitting around a campfire one night when one bloke started complaining about his useless cattle dog.“I’d give $100 to anybody who can make him do anything on command” he spat. “Watch this.”The bloke commanded the dog to sit, roll over and play dead, all with no result.The second bushie said “Give me a go.” He commanded the dog to sit, roll over and play dead, all with no result. After an hour he gave up in disgust.The third bushie stands up and says.
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