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So whats your decision Lizzy? You wanna do this my way or the hard way? I hated those words. Every time she said that, what it really meant was give me what I want, or Ill make you wish you had. This time, instead of images of a belt drawing blood across my skin, her words conjured images of me screaming and flailing on the living room floor, invisible hands holding me down, the heat of other bodies scalding me in the darkness, forcing me to feel a pleasure I was ashamed to feel. If sex is pleasure and abuse is pain, then rape is a turmoil that makes me desire punishment. I knew what they did to me, what they would continue doing to me, was wrong, but my body had betrayed me. Knowing that part of me enjoyed it, even if it was just some reflex no one has control over, it was enough to make me hate myself. I was struggling to convince myself that it wasnt my fault. I didnt ask for what happened. I cant help how my body feels either. These are things I cant control. Why should I feel. With his attractive thick jet black hair, and square-jawed smile she was sure he would excite many a woman, both young and old.Vanessa was sure that Andy was a hit with the teenage beach bunnies and knew a thing or two about sex, but what about a mature woman. During the dive lessons, Vanessa had imagined Andy as a potential skillful young lover, who was perhaps ready to move on to older more mature pussy. However, she was wary about 'riding' the paying customers. Vanessa wondered if it could be a little secret between her and Andy.Vanessa thought it was taking a risk bringing Andy back to the apartment, but having spent so much time getting close to him, guiding him on the dive boat and underwater, she was hoping to teach him more than how to suck on a regulator. He was hot, lean, skilled and a quick learner, and she was also excited with what was beneath his shorts. Underwater, she had seen him checking her out through his mask, and her toned, tight body and 34c boobs were still in.
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