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'Boy have I been a dumbass, my sole focus has been on school. Looking back now, I realize I could have split the time with Becca and still done well in school. I hope she will let me make it up to her.'Expecting her to be there he yelled out as he entered the apartment, "Becca baby, where are... ?" He began to tremble when he saw her house key on the kitchen table. His fingers lost their grip as his suitcase effortlessly slipped to the floor as he ambled towards her room. Just as he feared, everything was gone.While fighting back tears, he proceeded to unload his car, trying to keep himself busy. Once he had finished unpacking and putting his stuff away, he closed and locked the front door. After removing his coat and gloves he sat at the table, took in a deep breath, then let out a long slow sigh, as he picked up the key.Glancing around the room, his eyes settled on the envelope taped to the white board with his name written in Becca's gently flowing script. Afraid to take it down,. I held on as tight as I could. “NO!” I shouted back. “You need to talk about it, damn it! It’s gnawing at you and I can’t leave it alone knowing it’s killing you.”“How would you know what it’s like to have something gnawing at you?!” she roared at me and something broke in me.I stared at her and something inside me snapped. I could feel all the air in my chest constrict and my eyes glazed over with tears, blurring her face as I started to shake. “You think I don’t KNOW?!!? I killed Miranda!” I hissed back. “I had her thrown off her own balcony. I stood where it happened! I looked down at the stain where she hit the pavement! I see that every night. I did that! Me! You think that doesn’t tear at me?!!? You think it hasn’t occurred to me that justice would be me going over that same balcony?!!? I think about that every time I have that dream and watch the pavement rush closer as I fall! I have that dream every night! Even when I’m not asleep, I’ll close my eyes and be able to count.
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