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”The farmer gave a guffaw, “Shades of Rikki Fulton!”“How do you mean, sir?”“Oh, it was a reference to the old Scottish comedian and actor, Rikki Fulton. One of his TV comic characters was a Scottish Presbyterian minister, the Rev I. M. Jolly, who was as dour as get-out. He did one sketch where the teetotal minister is doing a religious TV slot at the end of the evening, and has a glass of water on a table beside him. By accident, one of TV crew tips some whisky into the glass, and the minister sips it from time to time. He praises the water quality, and gets progressively more tipsy as he tries to do his ‘thought for the day’. It was a hilarious sketch.”Reg smiled at the word picture being portrayed. “I shall be careful how much I drink, sir, for I am practically teetotal myself. I feel I am lucky that way: so many people get addicted to alcohol.”The word ‘lucky’ struck a chord with the farmer.“Reg, do you think Hermione and Jemima are mature enough to be trusted?”“I appointed them to. I have had the cough, the cold shivers as my body feels on fire and of course the constant drippy nose. Thank god I have yet to experience the two worst symptoms from this flu. I do not look forward to when I am trapped on a toilet with the copious fluids rocketing from my backside. Or even worse when you are trapped on that cold throne wondering if you should keep your behind there or if you need to quickly replace it with your head as the acidic liquid travels from your stomach over your taste buds and out your mouth like a violent projectile splashing into the ceramic basin. For a split second you feel relief from the escaped vomit, your settled stomach thanking you for the relief but then you taste it the bitter sourness of bile that urges on a companion for the basin. How I hate these days of the flu, my brain doesn’t seem to work correctly and the simplest of tasks become monumental. Your body cries out with each touch as if you are left a human voodoo doll and every touch is.
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