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The fact of the matter is that I started drinking more during this time than I ever had. Where I should have been opening up to another human being, I remained a prisoner of my own self-imposed isolation, reveling in my own loneliness and isolation. I had become my own judge, jury and executioner. I knew nothing about grief or depression, yet I was dealing with unexpressed grief and I was clinically depressed. It was as if I deliberately decided to kill off a part of myself to make life bearable, to cut off the emotions that plagued my mind, never realizing I was cutting myself off from the positive emotions as well as the negative. That deal comes with a heavy price I could not afford to pay. I was secretly hoping that nobody could see the chinks in the invisible armor we all try to hide behind from time to time, and yet everyone could clearly see. Everyone except myself. Frustrated by an enemy I couldn’t get a handle on, my life began to spin out of control, slipping like so many. "Maybe I do. I think you should tell me though just to make sure I get it right." Damn it Jack, would you just get on with it." Denise smacked him on the back of his shoulder lightly."On with what dear," Jack replied with a smile. He then nipped Denise lightly on the exposed part of her right hip."Ugh... you are soooo trying... would you please eat me out?" Oh... is that what you were after. Anything to please a lady."Denise growled at him as she shifted to help him finish undressing her.Jack reached around and unbuttoned Denise's khaki shorts. Moving from between her legs, he unzipped the shorts and proceeded to pull them down Denise's firm thighs, exposing her black satin thong. Denise obediently pulled her legs together and raised her hips to allow him to tug the shorts off completely. Jack took her left leg and threw it over his right shoulder and began kissing his way up. He nuzzled her calf, pausing to lick behind her knee and showered kisses up the inside of her thigh. Jack.
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