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At first the stories about the open sexual activity seemed to be a plot for an adult movie, but the more I was exposed, and saw how things went, the more I realized we, the kids in The Program, were being given an opportunity that we wouldn't otherwise have.In my mind, I knew I had an out. I could always go back home to Michigan. My mom would surely see the difference in me and realize I had changed. I wasn't interested in hanging with my crew anymore or doing the things I had done to get me where I was. Being a jerk wasn't something I planned to do again. I loved Jackie and wanted to be with her, but if for some reason it didn't workout, I knew I had an escape route.With that in mind, I knew what I wanted to do. I wasn't sure about Jackie's wishes, but I figured I could just let things develop and see where they went. Jackie had something up her sleeve, metaphorically—so did I.Looking up, I caught Jackie's eye. We shared a smile that made my heart jump. When I mouthed, "I love you,". Never before have I vibrated outward from within my entire being. Never before had you shook the way you did while taking all passion into the depths of your womanhood.But now, the sun is away. The wind blows the trees against the house and there is no other sound except the hum of the distant expressway. My ears ring with the silence. I think sometimes that I hear your voice, beckoning to me. Though it was not. You are gone from my spell. You broke the trance and escaped my curious hands.I pull the covers back over my head in an attempt to find shelter from the pain and responsibility outside my door. My foot will not even touch the cold wooden floor, for fear that the creaking of old wooden boards would be the apparition of you as you walked nakedly, on tip toes across my room. My mind is tortured by the thoughts I have. The things I would whisper into your ear in the choicest of moments. The look on your face as you let your body give way to the convulsing throes of climax. The.
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