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I really did miss Cheryl on my morning walk. One of the camera people followed me to the mall now and then, but they sat on one of the benches and filmed me coming and going. They also tried to catch me speaking to the other old folks. Cheryl had walked beside me and we had talked about nothing important, but she was company.Helen's place had been open a week, which was two weeks after I suggested the building, when she and Jack switched from the traditional breakfast wagon paper bag delivery, to trays in the sit down place. None of us had yet figured out what to call it. Since they had invested in trays, I figured the place must be making money, so I stopped worrying about losing it.Cheryl showed up at the restaurant or whatever it was, at the beginning of the second week. Everything was mostly precooked at their industrial kitchen, but they had begun cooking some things on site. Cheryl had taught them how to cook eggs in the microwave. In my opinion that were better than the eggs. For I think it helps toillustrate the problem. You see: I also used to wonder why I wasHERE... why I had been born and all the rest of it. And I used to spenda lot of time pondering it. Now it so happened that along about thetime I was seven or eight years old I rescued a friend who wasdrowning. Not that that's any big deal, you understand... any one ofyou would do the same, I'm sure. But my point is that although becauseof my various issues (transsexuality being not least among these) mylife seemed to be stalled. For I was afraid to live in those days...andafraid to die, too... else one of my many suicide attempts would surelyhave been successful... anyway, while my life was on hold, my friendgrew up, got married, produced children... and those CHILDREN hadchildren in their turn. And so I began to wonder if, perhaps, THAT waswhy I had been born. If I hadn't been there my friend would havedrowned and NONE of his descendants would ever have been born."The chelas all made various.
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