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Steve on the other hand was smirking away, knowing that there was no way for me to recover. Sonia’s eye contact with me was intense and Steve took the opportunity to bail out. “Well, it looks like you two have a lot to talk about so I’ll just leave you to it,” he said, looking between us trying to stifle a grin and headed off up the road. I watched as Steve walked away. Bastard. I looked back at Sonia who was still looking pretty pissed. I decided that there was no easy way out so I said what I thought she would want to hear. “Look, I apologize for what I said. It was a joke and I really hope you don’t think I’m actually going to be hiding in the sleeping in room next time you go in there”. Sonia’s expression seemed to soften a little. “Why did you say it?” She asked. I had known Sonia for about 8 months and we’d always got on well enough so I thought I would just be honest with her. I guessed I couldn’t make it any worse. “Honestly? Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but. “They just kind of gathered around me.” I suddenly noted that she’d included Wendy as one of my wives. Had I thought that as well?“But picture yourself now with just one of them. Who would it be and where would the others be? How happy would you be?”Shit! It wasn’t possible for me to imagine life without even one of the four, Wendy included, without feeling a desperate sense of loss. Maybe I did need four wives.“I would be very unhappy,” I said.“You’d function, though?”“Yes. And I’d love the one I was with. There would be an empty space where the others had been. I don’t know if I could get over it.”“Think of Wendy’s need as that empty space. She functions in the real world, but there is an inner longing to let go—something that is always there, but which she controls except in those intimate moments that she entrusts to you. Those moments of complete surrender are possibly even more intimate than the moments you share with Lissa, Melody, and Kate.”I knew from experience that Wendy.
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