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The intimacy was astounding, more intensely intimate than I felt from most of the men I had been with. My mind swirled with renewed desire for him. This desire, though, wasn’t just for his body, for the sex, for the stimulation, or for the climatic sensations I had already experienced. This desire was soulful and at the core of my being, a need to be a part of him and for him to be a part of me. It was a feeling that I couldn’t be close enough to him. It was a feeling so intense and at a very core of me that I had never before felt.As protective and supportive as our being together had been before, I now realized that I would do anything for him. My very being was his, as I wanted his to be mine. Was I making too much of these feelings? Somehow, it didn’t seem possible. And I wanted to show him, even if he wouldn’t fully understand the significance of it.I sat up and patted the ground next to me for him to lie down, which he did. I stroked his head and neck down to his. This is not a true story although the circumstances surrounding it are. On the night of the funeral a sister and brother did express their love for each other and a blissful night of kissing and touching did follow but guilt overcame them and the relationship was not consummated although the love and warmth between them still endures.Richard relaxed in the big old bath after the harrowing day. It brought comfort to be back in familiar surrounding and the bath brought back happy memories of bath time with his sister, and Mum, whom they had buried today, scrubbing their backs. He could hear his sister downstairs and was glad that she had also come down for the funeral, it felt such a long time since he had seen her, yet it couldn’t be more than 6 months, since their Mums cancer had first been diagnosed.As he thought about the day he distractedly stroked himself, out of comfort not sexual relief, but he was hard as his sister called up the stairs, “Richard, do you want a cup of tea?”.
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