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" If you have seen all, madame, you know that the son of Fernand has publicly insulted me," said Monte Cristo with awful calmness."Oh, for pity's sake!" You have seen that he would have thrown his glove in my face if Morrel, one of my friends, had not stopped him." Listen to me, my son has also guessed who you are, --he attributes his father's misfortunes to you." Madame, you are mistaken, they are not misfortunes, --it is a punishment. It is not I who strike M. de Morcerf; it is providence which punishes him." And why do you represent providence?" cried Mercedes. "Why do you remember when it forgets? What are Yanina and its vizier to you, Edmond? What injury his Fernand Mondego done you in betraying Ali Tepelini?" Ah, madame," replied Monte Cristo, "all this is an affair between the French captain and the daughter of Vasiliki. It does not concern me, you are right; and if I have sworn to revenge myself, it is not on the French captain, or the Count of Morcerf, but on the fisherman. A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the carThe boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.After about six weeks, his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair ... and there's even strong evidence that the Lord Jesus had long hair.'You're going to love the Dad's reply.The Dad replied: 'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'RETIRED/BORED HUSBANDAfter I retired, my wife.
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