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Once. Twice. Three times."WHAT THE FLYING FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!"Lily winces, holding her hands and smiling nervously. "I'm not done explaining!" I didn't consent to any wedding!" Just let me finish, Jac-" Hell, I'm not even interested in getting married! I'm fine being a bachelor!" If you woul-" Shut up! Just shut up! What the hell is even going on?!" LET ME EXPLAIN, YOU DUNDERFUCK!" Lily shrieked, her mouth opening as wide as a snake's and her tail angrily curling into a wheel.Jack paused. "Did you just say dunderfuck?"Lily ignored his question, taking in a deep breath. Uncurling her tail, she straightened her hair before continuing. "Yes, I did, now, let me explain what's going on. Tomorrow, at exactly 1:15, you were going to die."Jack's mouth dropped open. "I was... how?" he asked quietly."You get hit by a bus. Don't worry, you were the only person who would die." Lily paused for a second and cringed. "Okay, not my most comforting approach, but let's move on. Now, with that in. They all left me on the sofa and I climbed off and followed them to the table, which is all laid. Roger is saying something to George, his voice is low, pitched so that I can't hear what he is saying. Something tells me that it is about me. I ask George what the matter is, and he replies nothing. I press him further. I am sure that it is about me, I tell him. When it looks as though Roger is about to tell me, then George relents and tells me."It is a custom that we have.." He starts. "That new members are...erm... they have to be our plate, our serving dish." You want me to serve everyone?" No you are the plate." I was still puzzled."You lie in the middle of the table and we all eat our food off you." Why didn't you say? Which end is my head to go?"With plenty of help, I climb onto the table and arrange myself as they direct. Then Sue starts serving the meals and carefully placing them on me! Luckily the food is cold. They sit either side of the table, two one side and two the.
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