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." Mail order bride. Used to not be that uncommon. Girl shows up. Guy marries 'er. Simple. And they live together forever after. Determination that love is there and it's up to the two of them to make it grow and flourish. Verstehen Sie?" Ich verstehe," I replied."Hah! Extra points for German," she laughed. "But I still win." Careful. You might not know all the facts about the prize," I said."No alcohol in the house but a couple of beers and half a bottle of wine. Doesn't smell of cigarette smoke. Place is clean. No condom wrappers in the trash can. No other women's clothing. Not the slightest bit of evidence at all. And you just don't strike me as the type who'd be doing hookers." You could be wrong..." AM I?" No, but you could be..." Criminal record? You?" she asked."No. You?" I rolled through a stop sign four years ago."She kept after me. "So were you waiting, hoping that the right one would come along and you'd do the dating and the engagement and the wedding and all that?" I. ” I said, “Try me.” She giggled again and said, “Well, if it won’t gross you out, maybe you can help me shave some time.” This definitely aroused me and I immediately said I’m game. Two days later I reminded her of the offer and she said, “I thought you were just being nice – are you serious?” I said, “100% I am and think it would be sexy.” She let out a loud but unsure laugh and said if I was serious and wouldn’t feel offended, why not. Later that afternoon, she took a shower and I took out a brand new razor, a can of Edge shave gel, a bowl or warm water, and a fresh hand towel. She came out of the bathroom wearing one of my shirts and a bathrobe over it but nothing on below. She crawled up on the bed in doggie position and lifted up the bathrobe and said, “If you cut me, I am going to make it hurt so bad for you tonight.” With that in my head, I set out to do 2 things, #1 Calm her so she wouldn’t be nervous and #2 Show her I would be gentle and not cut her.I had her lay her head.
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’ ‘Can I see it coming out?’ ‘Well I think Nanny and Grandad have it arranged at the hospital already, but as soon as it’s born, you can see it.’ ‘Will I be able to hold him?’ ‘Well we’ll see nearer the time, and how do you know it’s a boy anyway?’ ‘I heard Mummy say Nanny’s all in front so it’s a boy.’ ‘We’re just guessing Kyle, do you want a baby boy then?’ ‘Yes I think so,’ ‘Baby girl, baby girl, baby girl,’ Em bounced on Susan’s knee. ‘Oh Em, be careful with Nanny, she’s quite tired my darling.’ ‘I’m okay Perdy, it’s alright, please I’ve missed these two so much.’ ‘Just worried about her hurting you, even accidentally.’ ‘I understand, but I’ll be fine. Now let’s have tea and I’m going to have a piece of the lemon drizzle cake. Harry have some fruit.’ ‘Yes Mum,’ they chorused, dissolving into laughter. Kyle and Em sat on the floor, a plate in their lap, eating a small slice of cake, with grapes and slices of apple. Harry reached for an orange, which he peeled and ate slowly. He.

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