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Now she wouldn't talk about it? A few weeks later, she took me to a club where she was singing, all dressed up in a gown with about two feet of cleavage. I was in a gown too, my big tits, that I basically hated, all on display like hers were. You know me, I love to show off but being dressed like that in front of all these grown men...wow. I had the body of a grown-up woman, but no way was I a grown-up. She had me get up on stage and sing with her. She does jazz, improvisational stuff, puts lyrics of her own to jazz soloes....vocalese...like Annie Ross or ..... I don't know. It's really a challenge. I'm an opera student, have been since I was six. All I have ever wanted to do is sing opera on stage, but that is a totally different approach than what mom did. For one thing, opera singers don't improvise, we follow the score and libretto, like all the other musicians. She was singing and wailing to something by Charlie Parker, "Donna Lee", I think, she wrote these impossible lyrics,. "But it's going to feel better causeyou'll have stockings all the way up." I can't wait," I giggled as I rubbed my feet.Mommy slid the shoes on my feet and helped my stand up."These have a little heel on them so be careful," she told me as sheheld my hand. "Take small steps to get used to them."Wow, I was going to wear big girl stockings and shoes with a heel, itwas like being a grown up girl!I held mommy's hand and carefully walked around. It felt a little funnyto wear shoes like that but I just knew I was going to love it.Mommy had another surprise for me, a trip to the beauty shop the daybefore the party. Karen and I were going to get something called aperm to make our hair look all pretty and curly.I was scared out of my wits when mom helped me into the chair at thebeauty shop. I wasn't a sissy or some sort of freak. I didn't belongthere yet there I was, a pink cape draped over me while my hair wasbeing set in curlers.Of course, how I really felt didn't matter as stupid girl.
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