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. laying there with that limp little dick that I knew wouldn't have been all that much bigger even if I had gotten it up... I almost got weak about that promise not to go back to black.The hotel had a busboy... well, he wasn't much of a 'boy' at all. When he had carried the bags up to our room so that my hubby could play mister macho and carry me past the threshold, I had seen that this busboy was all more like buss- MAN. I know I had promised my Mom that I wouldn't turn my husband into a fool unless it was right, but this was my Goddamn wedding night and I needed it.I rang for room service. I was so nervous. I had never been like that before. I mean one thing I had learnt from growing up is that a black stud is always ready to go. I certainly wasn't nervous for fear not getting a yes, for the servicing I needed in that honeymoon room. Maybe I was mostly worried that some other boy would answer my summons. Or maybe, it was that damn promise I made that I would live my marriage as God. Saddened because I knew her as a kid. Knew herwhen she was him, actually, because they lived next door to us in thedreadful Park Hill estate in Sheffield. This estate of apartments -'flats' in British English - was an example of brutal modernistarchitecture, built to replace a bombed-out area (thanks, Luftwaffe)and by the 1980s, many of the flats were occupied by desperately poor,degenerate, drug and alcohol troubled, dysfunctional families who madelife hell for neighbours who were simply poor, like us. Francis camefrom one such dysfunctional 'family'.His father was an ex coal miner. The truth of the matter was that heworked in a pit in a small mining community that was supported bysubsidies, and hadn't an economic leg to stand on. This was concealedfrom all by astute Trade Union shenanigans, until one day all wasrevealed and the pit closed. Mythology has it that the pit was closedand the community torn apart by prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, butin truth, the previous Labour.
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