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He planned to steal a horse and ride South to Florida. Once he was at the ocean, he would acquire a boat and set sail to one of the Union ships blockading the rebel ports. It took more than two months to reach the Florida coast. and another three weeks to locate a Rebel port, with blockading Union ships. Being a landlubber his whole life, he had no idea how to swim. Even if he could, the ships were too far out at sea. He did find several rowboats and one canoe. He knew how to use those, but they were too slow. If someone saw him and sounded the alarm, there was no way he could reach the ships. The small fast privateers in port would outrun him. All the other vessels in port were too large for one man to run, even if he knew how to sail.He went into a local saloon, knowing the locals would buy him drinks and food. All he would have to do is spin yarns of Southern victories. As he told lies about battles he wasn't in, he heard that one of the ships was going to try and run the. .. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”“No,” she replies.Wait for itIt’s coming... The suspense is killing you, isn’t it? ‘You’re just the first man who happened to catch my eye.’(Oh shut up, and just forward it!)This one is compliments of J & BWhat deep things retired men think aboutI mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, “Nothing.” The.
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