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. We went to a salon today.MOM: Amelia, you're going to have to excuse Willow's manners. Swishy butthere thinks that just because he turned 18 that he's Miss Know It All.Fact is, his mommy still has to bathe him in a tub, scrub his littlebehind, help him into a dress without it being turned inside out, anddrive him to ballet class.WILL: Mom!MOM: Now, Willow, you know we learned from your therapist that you haveto admit both to yourself and others the reality of your feminine nature.Dr. Pamela will be so proud that you showed off your pretty things toyour former sweetheart. And that you apologized to Amelia for hurtingher.WILL: Hurting her? But Amelia is the one who broke things off.MOM: Let's be honest, baby gurl. You wasted a year of Amelia's life bypretending to be a real boy, when in fact you never had the strength orcourage or even the penis size to qualify as a normal guy.AMELIA: Well, it's true, Willow. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy oursophomore high school year together. Going. She gets some government funding and if you pull out all together her numbers will drop and she'll lose her grant. If you want the two hundred and fifty dollars in the Hong Kong fund your going to have to do something. Acting or something like that. Otherwise we blow the whole five hundred'Jade had walked in and was listening. 'When I was doing your hair this morning we had the radio on and we were both singing to that Christina Aguilera song. You have a pretty good voice Amy. A bit of training and you'd be great.''So?''So, your dead head mates can almost play music. Get them back together and you can make some money playing at some school dances and stuff.'"You're trying to make my life sound like the Blues Brother's movie.' Amy complained.'More like Pink sister.' Jade smiled. 'Just trying to help.'-oOOo-Eleven days later Amy was not in a good mood. Her feet we killing her, her pantyhose were bloody hot and she seemed to be dropping a lot of stuff. Not good in a shorter than short.
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