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I spent half of yesterday in a world full of gorgeous naked women. I got jerked off by one of them. I didn’t get the job I went to see about at the weird but awesome place called Blanke Schande College. I think the couple down the road have just busted up again. That will be the third time this year. The guttering is overflowing with all the rain and it looks like it is not going to stop. I haven’t checked on old Mrs Clusky next door for some time now. Maybe I will take her the rest of that cake. She likes cake. That might cheer me up. I’ll put that cake in a plastic container, get cleaned up then go next door for some coffee with my nice old neighbor. Oh wait ... there’s no power. Shit! I forgot! Oh well, I’ll still get cleaned up and take her some cake anyway. That sounds like a plan young Jared Michael Reznik. That sounds like a plan indeed.”Just as Jared Michael Reznik was standing up to begin executing his ‘plan’ there was a loud knock at the front door. In fact it was much more. So I thought I would charge my phone and text you at night, hoping the network would be smooth.A – Oh, you had quite a plan, eh, charging and talking. I am impressed. Btw nights are the best times to know each other at least blue ticks can be expected again.N – Okay, just because it is night, don’t be hopeful.A – Hey, c’mon, I am not hopeful in any wrong way. It’s just day-1. I don’t want to be a creep.N – Ya right (sarcastic) that’s why someone was busy stalking me on Instagram?I felt busted and a bit shocked.A – That’s not true. Why will I stalk you? And why would you say that? (I was trying to defend)N – Aww, look at that poor baby caught. Haha, Okay, maybe you were not, but just a little advice I would give.A – (I thought I got saved) Yes, tell me.N – Next time you stalk a girl, make sure you do not hit the double-tap button.A – (I was speechless, but I thought, let’s a gamble) Okay, you caught me, but I was hooked on your Instagram feed. Please don’t take me as a creep. But.
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