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What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first step.I was contemplating that when Anna called. I hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. I hadn't eaten anything or moved from the table where Jenny sat down hours ago. Anna's suggestion of take out and movies sounded perfect. It'd been too long since we hung out, as she'd been spending a lot time with her boyfriend Robert, although, I think I heard something about them splitting up. If that was true I hope it hadn't been too bad, but then she usually called me if she needed anything. I recognized my passive stance again, and wondered how much of my life was waiting for other people to tell me what they needed. In truth, I was glad to hear she and Robert broke up, the guy seemed nice enough, but I couldn't shake the feeling like he was. A few days later Aaron and Bonnie went to the pre surgery check up. Bonnie seemed surly once again and just sat staring into space while they waited their turn to see the surgeon. Aaron was not much better. He looked around the room and saw all the sick people, people with hope shattered because their cancer came back, people like him that had not had surgery before and still hoped for the best, that they would beat the "big C".During the consultation Aaron had trouble concentrating on the discussion. He remembered listening to and approving the plan but when the surgeon asked if he had any questions his mind came up blank. All he could do was shake his head no. Bonnie on the other hand had many questions and they all seemed to dwell on recovery times and what Aaron would be able to do after the surgery, if he could travel and if so how soon. Aaron thought many of the answers were positive but Bonnie seemed worried. Finally the exam ended and Bonnie and Aaron left for their home. The.
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