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The two sat sipping in silence.A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked:“Are you a real pilot?”He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’Lemon PickerSally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said: “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, I voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”She starts work in the morning.Happy HourFour old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona, two were from Nebraska and two from Iowa. They turn a corner and see a sign that. I just can't waituntil we get to the mall and I can get out of here. Never thought itwould take so long to make a single phone call. And why the HELL won'tmy leg stop itching!That's as far as my thoughts got before the bottom of my stomach fellout for the second time that day. It didn't take a rocket scientist toconnect the dots. My crotch was itching. It is now covered in what ismost definitely a pair of girl's panties. Now my leg is itching. Myfucking LEG is fucking ITCHING! Oh god... what the hell is happening tome now!As casually and nonchalantly as I could I reached down and tried tofeel my leg through my blue jeans. This is not a simple thing to do.It's not easy to feel much detail through a thick pair of jeans. Istarted with the ankle. I could feel my sock. I moved up from there.Partway up my calf, still only sock. So far so good. Halfway up mycalf. Still more sock.Ok, now I am starting to get freaked out again. I know my socks don'tcome up to my knees! At least, they didn't.
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