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“That’s correct” says the defendant. “Upon which” continues the prosecutor “you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her”. “That’s correct” says the defendant. “Then my question to you is - why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?” asked the prosecutor. “It seemed easier” replied the defendant “than shooting a different man every day!”My wife came back from work yesterday and yelled at me “All my friends’ husbands have bought an original pink and brown Juicy handbag!” I replied with a wink “Okay love, but tonight you’ll have to provide some pink and brown for me”. I was astonished when she nodded in agreement. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will. ‘She’s a friend,’ Matt said, ‘not a girlfriend. I already have the only girlfriend I ever want.’ ‘Is that what I am?’ Mary asked. ‘Your girlfriend?’ ‘You’re my lover,’ he said, ‘and you always will be, I hope.’ Mary looked at him. ‘You’re sure you don’t want to try dating girls your own age instead of an old lady?’ she asked. Matt kissed her again. ‘You sure didn’t act like an old lady last night,’ he said. Mary felt herself blush. ‘You’re impossible, you know that?’ she giggled. ‘Yeah, I guess I am,’ Matt said. He cupped her bottom in his hands and pulled her against him. ‘But I’m good in bed.’ ‘You certainly are,’ Mary agreed. In spite of the things she’d said about wanting him to date girls his age, she really didn’t want to share him, and certainly didn’t want to take a chance of losing him. The fear of that happening was always with her and it did her good to hear him once more profess his love for her. Matt kissed her again and released her. ‘I guess I have to get to school,’.
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