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"Brother, which of these initiates do you choose to take into your charge?" A moment," said a voice within the crowd. A slight figure emerged and proved himself the speaker by adding, "My apologies for interrupting, but I would make aware of a piece of joyous news which, perhaps, we all should hear before our brother the Painter graces us with his selection." The Archbishop smiled. The man who had spoken, named the Aperturist, was an ally in his camp. For appearances' sake, the Archbishop had bided his time waiting patiently for someone else to speak up for him. Events appeared to be unfolding according to plan.The Aperturist continued, "Our brother the Archbishop, too humble to claim this honor, has delivered unto us an artifact which we have sought for many years. Brother, would you deign to give us a glimpse of it?"The Archbishop waited until all eyes were upon him before he spoke. "I was going to present it after the ceremonies were over, but since our brother is so eager. "We said our goodbyes and I returned to watching TV. About ten minutes later, a light bulb in my head flickered. A few seconds later the light bulb shoned bright as the sun. I went upstairs into my parents' room. Lying on the bed was Dad's b**st costume.I put it on and was shocked at how comfortable the costume was. My Mom had thought of everything as it even had two battery-powered mini-fans in it to keep you cool. I also noticed that she had created a velcro opening at the privates, so you could rake a piss without completely taking off the costume. I looked in the mirror. No one would have a clue it was me. I was the same height as my father; I had the same blue eyes as my father; and I had the same voice as my father. I went downstairs, grabbed the address, jumped into Dad's Mercedes and drove to the party. I arrived at the party a few minutes after eleven and was met at the door by my Mom's best friend Gloria, dressed in a Snow White costume. Her face brightened when she saw me..
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