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“Hello love,” she said. “I got your message. How bad is it?”“I’m sorry I missed you yesterday. I was vacuuming the carpets to clear the water. That machine makes a din.”“Is it only water?”“Dirty water. Central heating pipes are full of antifreeze and rust. The carpet’s ruined and it blew some electric circuits, so the alarms don’t work, otherwise, I’d have come to you.”“Can you get someone to fix it?”“Yes. I did a lot of hunting around and I’ve got an electrician coming tomorrow. I got them to inspect this evening. It looks like it makes sense to replace all the wiring.”“All of it?”“That sounds worse than it is. I won’t bother you with the technicalities, but it looks like they can do it over the next few days. I’ll have to hang around and keep an eye on things.”Diane giggle. “Well, you did say you wanted me to go away for the week while you worked on your surprise. Will you be able to do both?”“I think so. What about you?”“Do you think you will be able to spend Saturday night with. Laurence told her he’d once worked as a bouncer so presenting her butt to Laurence she asked sweetly, ‘Are you capable of busting the arms of a guy who did the dirty on me?’ ‘The swine, yes of course baby. If I do that for you perhaps I could hold down my bitch of a wife and you pull out her ovaries?’ ‘Laurence, how dare you. We agreed not to talk about our spouses.’ ‘Oh yeah, right. My apologies.’ Two days later Ben told Irma an unidentified assailant had attacked Robert as he left the office the previous night and broken both of Robert’s wrists. There appeared no reason for the crime although the assailant had snarled one word: masturbator. ‘I went to see Robert today and he’s a quivering mess, wondering why the world is against him.’ ‘Oh poor Robert,’ Irma said, and Ben though she hadn’t sounded at all concerned. Next morning Irma asked Ben for a thousand bucks to enroll on a weight reduction course. ‘Yeah, you have become fat,’ he said, peeling off ten one hundreds. After that.
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