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“When I went back to Peter I knew I needed to put distance between John and me. It was hard going back to Peter knowing how much I’d fallen for John after he’d been so good to me, so I cut John off.“Peter was oblivious to how I was feeling about John, and later he was so happy that John had done so much for us, that he would actually remind me to send Christmas cards – I wasn’t going to – so I did, from both of us with a minimal greeting, but that was all.“Over time it got easier until Peter had the stroke, and the first person I turned to in my panic was John! He calmed me down, and stayed on the phone until I went off to hospital with Peter. Afterwards I felt I had to send John an email to tell him about Peter’s condition, but it revived all those strong feelings for him. So I cut myself off completely again – self-preservation really.”“Peter’s gone now,” said Ellen quietly.“As I said,” Claire replied sadly. “My fault. Anyway, John and I couldn’t make it together any more. I only. Neither of us had any clue what the future held, did we?”“No,” Kara said. “And honestly, the parallels are there. That’s the one thing that gives me pause. If she has the same feeling about making love with a man that I do, then what?”“Unless you two are thinking of inviting her to our marriage bed, then she’ll have to figure out how to deal with it. What would YOU have done, Kara?”“Nobody joins our marriage bed,” she affirmed strongly, but then asked in a sweet voice, “Aren’t you the one who objects to ‘What if?’.”“But YOU don’t!” I said.“Eventually, I would have found a way to get past it and found a man to marry and have children with. It would have been difficult, but my need to be a wife and mother would have eventually overpowered my belief in only ever being with one man. My mom overcame that and married Paul. And she and I are very much alike, as I know she told you.”“Yes. She was stifled first by her mother and then by your dad. I’m glad she found true happiness.”“A loving.
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