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The third ring had the same six mill center stone, flanked by two three millimeter stones. For a piece of glass they sparkled quite well.“Why THREE earings.” I asked. And why would they put such gaudy rhinestones on them?”Dave looks at me and shakes his head in disbelief. “How in the world did an idiot like you attract a gem like your wife?”I wanted to defend myself, but I didn’t have an answer to his question.He takes one of the rings from the box and holds it up to the light and says. “First off, these aren’t rhinestones, their very valuable diamonds and second they aren’t earrings they are nipple and clit rings.”“Diamonds!” I exclaim, not really believing that is what they are, because they were as big as the stone in my wife’s wedding band and that ring by its self, cost me eight thousand dollars five years ago. I still didn’t believe they were diamonds. Maybe they were cubic zirconia at best, but no one gives away diamonds like that, much less eleven of them.Pam took the golden. Mouequay said sharply.I said, “I’m a pilot, I fly airplanes for a living.”I looked at question two, and then read it aloud, “my daddy can fly,” I said laughing just a little more than before, “his father does fly, he is a pilot too.” Question five read “I have two mommies,” I was really fighting the laughter now.“But you KNOW as well as I do that’s NOT what those questions MEAN!”I broke into full laughter while looking at them, “I’m really sorry that after my explaining it three times you still can’t comprehend that I am Stuart’s mother. That his other mother is Jamie Saunders, not Jamie Stuart. That Stuart is his first name. But please ... Please let’s talk about Stuart’s imagined inability to process information.”“This worksheet comes straight from Collingwood Children’s Cognitive Development Third Edition” Trudy said. It now seemed to me she was the one becoming intrangedent.“But the questions,” I said, “they are just very poorly worded if not clearly wrong.”“It’s not WRONG! It.
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