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The friend takes a shot and misses.“God dammit, I missed!”“Son,” says the priest. “That’s not pleasing to God and could land you in hell.”The friend just looks at the priest. A few minutes later, another duck flies by, the friend shoots and misses. “God Dammit, I missed again!”“My son,” says the priest. “Heed my words, that displeases God, and you will suffer the consequences.”A minute or two later a black cloud passes over. A lightning bolt streaks out of the sky, hits the priest, and kills him dead. The friend looks up to the heavens as a loud voice comes roaring down from above, “God dammit, I missed again.”Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch.The dentist says, “Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.”The woman replies, “Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we.”Murphy is a trainee nurse in his local GPs surgery. Last week the doctor said, “Murphy I’m going for a round. In his idleness he glanced around his office. The sunlight streaming in from the window behind his desk was diluted by the venetian blinds. His eyes wandered over all his matted and framed shingles and diplomas hanging perfectly straight on the wall he reserved for that purpose. The plastic plaque the Chamber of Commerce sent him for his membership seemed a little out of place alongside the symbols of his lifetime milestones.“Well, what the hell—I’m the only one who pays any attention to the damn stuff, anyway. I’ll put it there if I feel like it. It fills out the space.”So the plastic membership plaque was allowed to remain for the time being. He was about to buzz his secretary, working outside the door, for another cup of coffee. He stopped. Edwin would be there any second. He would have to offer him a cup, too. His brother never passed up a free anything, and that would mean a longer visit. Coffee would have to wait until later.Cal was sure Edwin wouldn’t be on time. He was always.
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