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I could not imagine how to face Aunt Jane. In retrospect, I seemed to have no problem in facing Uncle Dick, I was just unsure of how to retain my composure with my aunt.I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs and stepped into the kitchen, relieved to see Aunt Jane at the range with her back to me. As I slipped quietly into my chair, Uncle Dick moaned about a baseball score in the sports pages he was reading. I was briefly startled when Aunt Jane slipped a full plate in front of me and gave me a peck on the cheek with a cheerful "good morning!" I smiled weakly without looking at her, said "thank you" and picked up my fork. I ate quietly, saying nothing until Uncle Dick jumped up, grabbed his lunch sack, and barked his typical farewell. I said "See ya tonight," glancing up from my plate to make eye contact with him while avoiding Aunt Jane's eyes.Shortly after the door slammed, Aunt Jane pulled a chair up beside mine and slid into it. She put her arm around my shoulders and. I had fucked up again. This 'returning' is dangerous. Suddenly, my stomach tied itself in knots ... I felt ... loose ... my asshole clenched. I slipped the guitar in its plush case and stood ... one might say I waddled down the hall and to the bathroom ... Waddled is too slow but my guts wouldn't have withstood a run ... or even a 'trot.'To myself ... but aloud ... I mumbled, "Don't fart ... don't fart."The light was out ... the door was open. I said a silent thanks to what ever gods there be, dropped my shorts and sat ... with milliseconds to spare."David! ... Good Lord ... shut the door!" cried Grannie."I ... uhh ... can't."The veriest green fog rolled down the hall and crept into the living room."At ... least ... flush." I did ... UHH! ... Oh ... uhh." Another tidal wave hit my intestines...After the second cacophony of sounds echoed through the porcelain bowl, I heard the four women flee from the living room. The backdoor slammed. The bathroom has a window on the backyard. The.
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