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" Is that what you did when you were a kid?" I asked.He laughed."Hell no. I didn't care what their plans were. I just tried to get as much pussy as I could."My jaw dropped and I felt dizzy. You could have knocked me over with a feather.I don't want you to get the impression that Gramps is the cause of what happened, because he wasn't. He did laugh when he said that, but then he sobered up and gave me a lecture about STDs and AIDS in particular, and how I was too young to be able to love a woman as much as she should be loved when there's sex involved. I got the impression this could evolve into a long lecture, so at one point I stopped him. I'll never forget what I said. Never."I got it, Gramps. Not to worry. I'm not doing any of that stuff and I don't plan to any time soon."I didn't figure I was lying, even though I kind of thought maybe Ashley was going to be friendly to me again that night, but history suggested all I was going to get were kisses and a few feels of her titties. So. Every now and then one fell. Three had died that way, and another would spend the rest of his life being pushed around in a wheelchair and pissing into a plastic bag. But no one would have dreamed of suing Ralph's, or Sam Marx personally. That would just spoil things for everyone else. Besides, shit happened.It was Friday night, the big night, and Ralph's was packed. The warm-up act was a pair of local bullies who were pounding the shit out of each other, but the crowd didn't need much warming up. When the ring announcer introduced the Midnight Midgets and the four little men ran down the aisle and clambered into the ring, the cheers were deafening.Then the midgets did their standard opening, running crazily all around the ring, vaulting over one another, sometimes colliding, always in motion. One attached a choke collar and leash to another, who scampered around on his hands and knees and then raised a leg and pretended to piss on the announcer's trousers.The midgets wore black.
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