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That's when I realized that my life would be full of things I could only share with special friends , hiding them for years . At the time the closets were full of fags , in the late 60's being a homo was something only a few were open about , the rest kept our urges and lusts secret from everyone . There were husbands who'd married thinking the urges would stop but found they just became stronger and harder to fend off . The father who secretly was sexually attracted to his 18 year old sons friends , found himself finding ways to be around them . And there were , 18 year old , teens like me always thinking about sex . We all kept their secrets from wive's , friends and parents . It was something that was never mentioned in public or many homes , no one wanted to be know as a faggot then . By mid teen the sissy in me came , at home when alone I'd dress in moms and sisters bras and panties , jerking in front of a mirror . Each time I'd dress more , stockings , slips , dresses ,. "The part about killing me got me really hot. I don't have a death fetish. I don't want to actually die; it's the fear that gets me going. I figured though, I had a very good chance of actually being murdered this time.So at 9am the next day Bill tied me to metal steaks he drove into the ground. I was speared eagle on the dirt with my knees bent. Ropes on my wrists knees and ankles. Totally helpless. Bill kissed me goodbye but refused to fuck me. He said it was almost certain I'd be murdered and he didn't want his DNA on my body. It gave me a chill to think about it but I was incredibly horny. Just before he left he said something that got me really really hot."Hell I'm so certain you're going to die I might not even bother to come back." Then he just left.I wanted to touch myself so bad. This was by far the most dangerous thing I'd ever done. It seemed a long time before the first people showed up. I didn't see them at first. All I heard was a boy's voice, "Holly shit, it's real..
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