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. not a player.” I said.“Wanna try out?”That was probably the funniest thing I had heard in ten years. I mentioned that I’d like to sit behind home plate ... the bastard put me to work running the speed gun. That freed up the third base coach.The pitcher, a young fella I’d never heard of was blazing ‘em by batter after batter at 90 mph or better when I realized all the kid had was a fastball.I called out to the batter, “Look. He’s throwing the same pitch every time. The ball crosses the plate in the same place over and over. He’s pitching in the low 90’s. Time it.”Two pitches later.CRACKCRACKCRACKThe grin on the batters face was priceless. The pitcher, however, wasn’t happy.So I hollered, “Hey. Stop throwing the four seam fastball. Try something else.”And that ended up as a lesson in aerodynamics.“The seams interrupt the airflow across the surface of the ball. So how you hold the ball determines the direction of rotation and backwards rotation keeps the ball straight and fast. If you. It screamed in pain and surprise, again inside our heads, and then the pain and surprise turned to insane indignant rage. It quickly recovered from the surprise I had brought forth from the staff, and started to rush forth to tear me apart for my insolence. I did not know how I had gotten the staff to produce that effect, so I sort of half pointed it, half shook it at the thing. A few feet away there appeared a huge disembodied hand, and this rushed forward to the forward rushing demon and interposed itself so that the demon was stopped in it’s tracks. Another scream of rage in my mind was followed shortly by the thing shouting a Word and the hand popped out of existence. It seemed to move from standing still to full speed run instantly, and was almost upon us inside of a second. Without thinking, I wildly swung the staff at the creature and missed. There was no time or space left for a second swing, I had blown it. Again that laugh came inside my head, now in high speed as it.
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