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Yes, I might just about be able to handle being dressed as a woman, Isaid to myself. I had to man up. I was too much of a man's man to letbeing totally dressed as a woman affect how I felt about myself or wasI?I really didn't know any more.I started to cry.Real men don't cry. Rule 1 of manhood.Was this really me? What was I becoming? It was exciting wasn't it?It wasn't humdrum any more. Was it? This was really happening to me.There was a sense of the taboo...Forbidden fruit.But where was this road taking me? I got off the toilet. Where hadthat mirror with the lights round it come from? Shit my mascara hadstarted running and it made me look like Alice Cooper.I had to get some help. I ran quickly into Jane's room."SAMANTHA! What happened to knocking... Oh love! Come here and let megive you a hug."She hugged me. So she had a soft side too."Carol! Mary! Emergency repair kit!"Mary came in with a make-up bag and in no time my make=up had beenrepaired."Now, Samantha as this. Kanal, T. Dumont) Gracie watched him from across the table. Her was so sweet and so attentive and he loved her, she knew. True, he did lack something in his performance in bed and was not overly demonstrative – but wasn’t that a good thing? Matthew would be a good father, husband, provider and wasn’t that what all women wanted, needed, desired? Desired? Desired. Her eyes wandered across the table to the other one. Her hazel green eyes took in his five o clock shadow, his dark brooding eyes, his too damn sensuous lips – ohhhhhhhh! – she wanted to scream. The frustration and irritation welded up inside her but she said nothing – stuck her fork into the fluffy eggs and swallowed them whole. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. Maybe marriage to Matthew was a big fantasy and sleeping with Michael was definitely a big mistake. She watched Jane and William converse quietly at the end of the table and her heart sunk. She watched Jane touch William’s shoulder lovingly and with sweetness.
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