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From that night on he had seen Pamela several times. He eventook me out a few times. That's why I was out on "date," as I called itwith Bruce. They were never dates as in he wanted my tender body, but adate as in he was helping me get used to being out in the public. He wasmy best friend and nothing more. He never even tried to hold my hand letalone kiss me. There was no way I could ever repay him, never.He let me off at home, and as I went in, I saw mom, and pulled heraside. I told her about the party Kim was having, and that she hadinvited me. When I told her that Kim said to "wear something nice," momjust grinned and told me what that meant. "Sexy," mom told me. I hadjust the dress of course, we had just bought it, and went to my room todrag it out of the closet an try it on again. It was just as foxy as Ithought it would be, and with a grin hung it back in the closet. I hadnot seen dad, so I changed into a pair of shorts and a thin tee of myown and my gym shoes, then I went to. I wrote that all out in a long detailed, annotated and footnoted letter to Cornie (my advisor) and suggested that I probably had to withdraw my thesis proposal. It was true that cultural and religious values had been directly influenced and dramatically changed. And the cause had been an understanding of both human nature and economic need. I had proved that completely. I had also shown that normative behavior was completely remapped through the process.It wasn't that I had disproved anything in my thesis. I just was investigating the wrong thing.I did note that what I had investigated was not a cult, as much as it was a cabal organized and run mostly by women, for women, successfully taking advantages of the natural weaknesses of men.Cornie wrote back two days before I gave birth to Lily (7 lb, 3 oz.) that I had a microeconomic response to a macro pressure. The response was highly successful but constrained due to self-limiting factors. He saw no reason to walk away from the thesis.
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