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Saying things like, he had pushed his hand inside her shirt or pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. From then on she stopped wearing a bra and only wore one to work.Our bedroom fantasies were becoming bolder and more disgusting while real life lagged behind mostly because both or us were more than a little scared. I could see where this was all leading and that one day some other man would fuck my faithful wife. Did I want that, did I want to watch my wife being speared by some nameless guy or two or even more. In our bedroom the answer was yes and the same was for her too, but in real life things are never that simple. Once done it could never be undone, if I didn't like it I would have to live with those images forever. In our fantasies things could be played out in safety. Trouble was, we were both on a train and it was difficult to get off and with each station along the track it became even more difficult.One night after a very good session, I was trying to come to. I had seen him looking at me three or four times, probably the way I looked like, kinda punk, it attracted him. Even though I looked so young. So I gave him one chance to make his move and he caught it. It didnt take me long to suggest that we could have fun together. Have real fun. He didnt believe it at first… I mean, I know I look very young, at least two years younger than my seventeen years old. Also in his head a girl like me wouldnt just fall on his lap like that. If I was a normal girl, hed be right. I guess nobody would ever understand what went on in my head. I wasnt normal and I didnt meant to be. I didnt care. I didnt care about myself. I kept living a good life but I knew I didnt deserve it. People I loved died because of me and, since then, Im like this. I cared about my friends a lot more than I cared for myself, thats why I didnt date James when I got the chance, even if we secretly were absurdly close to each other, thats why I didnt date Enzo either, even knowing.
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