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As I sat on the porch of the house, waiting for Jake’s rattletrap car to carry me away I pondered my situation. I couldn’t go home – My folks would disown me. I didn’t have the money to get a place of my own. It was then that I determined to die – a simple suicide! It was after choosing the third option, suicide, that Jakes rattletrap pulled up and we began loading things into any space that would hold them. Jake was subdued as we drove to his apartment and I began to feel free to express my feeling to someone for the first time. I think it was on that drive back to his apartment that I began to develop feelings for him. With the emotional healing that took place as I talked to Jake came more vague memories of the night when I had first been in his apartment. . . .of his undressing me and putting me in the shower. I recalled the freshly washed clothes that I had arrived in. My loathing for myself reached it’s zenith that afternoon and evening when I arrived at Jakes apartment for the. I did remind her that unless she knew anyone there that no one would know a thing about it. Also, if she saw someone there she knew they would probably be just as embarrassed as she was. She calmed down about that topic and I thought a moment, and then suggested that the help me choose my date. I thought that it would give her a chance to participate and if she wanted, she could join us and make a three-some out of it. She didn't object, but got a sly smile as she thought about it as well.When we finally finished our talk, we also covered topics dealing with Italy, our living arrangements while traveling and how she didn't want me to have sex with her daughter, but wouldn't be surprised if we saw each other naked all the time. Ashlee and Brenda don't dress up when home alone and most of the time just wear comfy clothes which most of the time constitutes t-shirts and loose shorts without the hassle of undergarments. I told her that I loved the idea and couldn't wait because I didn't.
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