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So, the punishments were extremly harsh, Physically and psycologicaly. I discover that I was really masochist and feel unbelievable pleasure and satisfaction in the deepest sufffering. He was a real sadist, not to play a game. He will not stand any complaints, or He incrased the penalties. I had red,black and blue marks all over my small body everytime. for exemple I was quite ashamed to go to the doctor in such state, or sharing a shower with my sports mate. But deeply in my soul, i was so proud, I knew in my hearth that my spirit was growing very fast.As my mind, my body undergoes major change: My Master demanded and offered me a mammary increase, the effacement of my tattoos (errors of youth), a vulvar and vaginal rejuvenation as well as a complete depilation. I was always very proud of my allure (except my size too tiny) but finally, I touched the sublime, I was perfect. Violently narcissistic, and in love with my image, my Master took even more pleasure in degrading me,. And yeah, I know the stereotypes of the 'pedophile priests' might make you assume that that's what I'm admitting, but you'll soon see that's not what my story is about at all.I'm in my 50s and I've served in several locations around the world since my mid-20s. For almost two decades, I was celibate, but I regularly masturbate to relieve the urge to make contact with someone. My last sexual experience, the last before what I'll describe, came when I was 24 and involved a young woman I'd known for years. It was enjoyable and I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake becoming a celibate clergyman.In my mid-30s, I lost my faith in God. I still wanted desperately to believe in a higher power, a kind and benevolent father who would look out for his children and ensure lives were meaningful. I couldn't bring myself to hold that belief when I witnessed the tragedies and struggles I'd seen around me. Being on the 'inside' didn't help, the hidden truths and carefully concealed secrets were always.
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