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Her kind was usually reserved for the star of the football team, or some other equivalent sports hero, and even then only for the duration of his fame. Barry, on the other hand, was a second-string lineman, only put into the game when the result was no longer in doubt. In fact, he really didn't even like football. He was certainly not particularly ugly or unpopular, but girls like Stacy were usually so far above his particular level in the school social strata that he could only dream of going out with her. It had been a matter of pride with Barry that he had gathered the nerve to ask her out last summer, and although she had turned him down at the time, she had been less cruel about it than she could have been. Still, he had been more than a little surprised when Stacy had called him up last week and suggested a Saturday-night date.He had even half-expected that it would all turn out to be some kind of a joke, but when he had arrived at her house to pick her up, she had indeed been. ”The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming, and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”The man perks up.“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years, and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before, and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”“Yes I have,” says the man.“And has she helped you make a decision?”“Yes,” says the man.“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.“We’re getting granite countertops.”The Italian.
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