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Everybody was there but the chairman of the group. They all looked haggard and worn out. Several of us needed shaved. I knew I probably did. A few of them were talking to each other.I overheard snippets of conversation and ideas ranging from outright surrender to nuclear weapons. I couldn't stand the first choice and I really did not want to use the second choice against teenagers, children really. Besides that, there was the fact that if the nukes didn't kill the kids, the kids would certainly kill us."Be seated. Do so quickly. And be quiet quicker than that." The Chairman had arrived. He took his seat himself as we all complied. "Sorry to be so abrupt we only have a short time to decide our fates."A woman's voice asked "Aren't you being just a bit melodramatic?" She sounded strangely familiar.The Chairman shook his head. "I only wish I was. Major General Edwards, could you please tell her why things are worse than my comment sounded?"I did my best to sound far calmer than I felt.. ”“Is that you, Fred?”“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”“What’s it like?”“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”“Oh, Fred, you surely must be in heaven.”“Not exactly, I’m a rabbit on a golf course in Des Moines, Iowa.”Lexus LS400A woman bought a new Lexus LS 400. She returned it to the dealer the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.“Watch this!” he said... “Nelson!”The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say, “Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music, and if she.
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